For A Time


For a time, only I knew
The configurations of your slumber.
When you sleepwalked to the bathroom mirror
To see if you were more beautiful in your sleep,
Only I knew and only I kept track.
Only I smelled your breath, no longer
Perfect at night but closer to
The smell of mulch.
I fit my mouth inside yours,
Embezzling your breath and savoring
The subtle blend of its ingredients:
Your bitten lips and their rusty taste of blood,
Ramen and a hard-boiled egg, toothpaste,
And the tint of the last lie you told
Before falling asleep.

For a time, I was the one who you
Opened the door for.
I came to your apartment on rainy nights,
Cold nights, famous nights, sad nights.
You opened the door and embraced me
Or sometimes didn’t, depending on your mood.
I brought fruit juice, books, kisses,
Horniness, my deep love:
I brought them to your apartment and gave
Them to you in no particular order.
I gave them to you over and over,
And sometimes you wanted more
Of whatever I brought, and other times
You were so bored you preferred I didn’t exist.