Self-Help Book for the Dead

You need maps
In the afterlife, and
At the back of this book
You’ll find them.
One map shows
Places you can
Unhook your wings
Like a bra
And stamp on them
Without being caught.
Another shows
The altitude of clouds
Where you can still cuss,
Where you can
Dress up like
A porno star and pen
Complaint letters to God.

The afterlife is meant to be perfect,
So love is not allowed
And neither is canoodling.
This book shows how to find
Kisses and other contraband:
There are loopholes in the afterlife.
If you follow the left corridor
In your fourth dream after
The start of the season
Of rotting rainbows,
There’s a place where you can kiss.
But you can only kiss
Marsupials and the mouths
Of vases. Still, it is a kiss.
And besides, marsupials are
Great lovers, and vases
Taste like whoever
You drowned in them.

No one has goals in the
Afterlife. There is no place
You really need to go or leave.
You may feel aimless,
Unwanted, and useless:
This self-help book has
Tips on how to drift,
Meander, and float.

Goals were never meant to
Be achieved, only to
Trick you into living.
Aimlessness is where you begin
And where you end.
In the afterlife,
To float perfectly, step on
Rungs of wind and don’t
Stop climbing until you
Bash your head against
Bloodstained comets.
To really be aimless,
Spend a thousand years
Remembering those nights
When you still needed
Lovers and breath.